Review – Goat Simulator 3

Goat Simulator 3, the game that has players again take on the life of a malicious goat, and the second game in the series, has just dropped from developers Coffee Stain Studios. The game allows up to 4 players on an adventure across a world filled with goat fuelled fun and carnage. So, is this game the G.O.A.T. or just your common everyday variety?

Goat Simulator 3’s story begins as a farmer transports the player in their trailer to the farm to become part of the herd. Being dropped at the farm is really where the guided story begins and ends. From there it is all on the player to create their own story by attacking the open-world adventure as best they see fit. There are Goat Towers scattered throughout the world that upon discovery open up the region and what it has to offer. These towers act as fast travel points and also lead the player into an inner sanctum that see the XP (known as Wisdom) earned across the open world accumulated, leveling the tower up and opening upgrades the more you earn. This is the main goal of the game, and the ‘do what you want when you want’ nature of the game is all it is right up until the player unlocks the endgame through the accumulated Wisdom, opening the large gate inside the goat tower. This gate also operates as a progress measuring stick for the player as each tier of Wisdom unlocks one chain from the door which in turn unlocks the next upgrade within. Opening the door sees the player find and go up against the grizzly developer ready to take you down.  This offers a different kind of battle not experienced across the rest of the title and it’s one worth taking on if you’ve made it into the depths of the game.

While there is some variety in the missions that the player must complete to get there, they primarily fall back to the same premise in fetching, licking, head butting, or location discovery. Players may be head butting a box, a car, or a hippy but the premise is the same and it does wear a little thin over time. Without the knowledge of the actual endgame existing, I can see how players wouldn’t continue collecting Wisdom and therefore not making it to the end of the game. Even with that knowledge, the game can wear players down to the point where they won’t continue. The co-op aspect of this game definitely opens this up some more as there are mini games scattered throughout the world for the group to experience. This is reliant on having a party of players together with no matchmaking option on offer. I did sit down with my own kids and jump into a few of these minigames. They are short, sharp, and fun, and offer a bit of extra variety on top of the main games offering. The minigames on offer include:

  • Hoofball – A soccer style game where goats compete to score in their own goal.
  • King of the Hill – Stay in the hill, accumulate crowns, most crowns win.
  • Prop Hunt – This is hide and seek. Lick your selected prop to transform into it. The seeker then headbutt’s everything until that find those hiding.
  • The Floor is Lava – Time to scale the scenery to stay away from the rising lava.

On top of earning XP for mission completions, players can also earn, find, and buy (with in-game currency) cosmetic items to fit out your goat with, and collectibles for, well collecting. Some of these cosmetic items also offer a practical use which include items like a laser gun, Captain America shield, jet pack and Banksy head-mounted spray can that will have the players goat tagging all over the place. There are many items to collect, and it will have players fitting out their goat each time they jump in.

On the co-op aspect. This game is different from the first as co-op sees the player take it on with up to three friends, leading to all sorts of carnage. This being via online and on-couch having players work across the world undertaking actions as they see fit. The progression of the game is tied to the host but, at five hours max play time to complete, each player can easily host their own play-through every few days.

The comical nature of this game is also family friendly, and my kids had put in a few hours with me for this review. I am not sure it will keep their interest long term but there is fun to be had in short bursts. The adult-based humour in this game is written in a way that the adults with have a good laugh but the kids will not have a clue. There is also a heap of Easter Eggs from everyone’s favourite games to keep an eye out for that will add a little brand recognition.

Graphically this game isn’t ground-breaking at all and the environment, while fun, is broken in parts. I feel that some of the interesting responses from in-game environment and objects are by design, but others are not. Throughout my playthrough I saw some interesting things including cars and my goat stuck in the ground, invisible objects that sent me flying miles across the map, my goat falling significant distances through the floor and more. Many of these had me respawning for no reason other than that I was stuck or thrown out of the map.

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